True Love
Lately I’ve been settling.
Buying things I like — but don’t love — because I need them to fill gaps in my wardrobe and I just can’t find something that I love to fill the gaps. How long can you wait for your true love to come along, before eventually you just have to fill that gap out of necessity?
Selena told me once that she sold almost all her shoes and literally only had three or four pairs of shoes left. What an incredible concept! To purge everything (I love a good purge) and then only replace what you’ve disposed of with things you truly love.
But thinking about it now, it sure has been a long time since I fell in love with something.
I fell in love with my Wang bag and just had to have it despite it’s extraordinary cost. I fell in love with my Rick Owens wedges years ago and when Selena found them for me at a price I could afford I bought them without a moment’s hesitation. The decision was so spontaneous it even shocked her.
But that’s love.
Impulsive, passionate, irrational love.
And it’s been a long time since I’ve fallen in love.
I have lots of gaps to fill, more than ever now that so few of my clothes fit (although I’m being cautious because I’m scared for some reason that I may not stay this size). But what am I to do when I can’t find something I love?
Do I go without or do I settle?
What are your thoughts?
Responses ( 14 )
She Wore It Well shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 12:21 PMStory of my life now that I’m on a budget. I fall in love with things that I cannot afford, so I buy something similar to fill the void. I don’t love that piece so it sits unworn.
Ugly cycle.
Kayla shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 12:37 PMAt the moment I’m holding out for what I love.
I’ve made myself a list of the gaps in my wardrobe, things that I desperately need. Right now flat shoes and cardigans are at the top of that list, but I can’t find any that I can love (and afford) let alone any that I’m willing to settle for. Much like She Wore It Well, if I don’t love it it will languish in the wardrobe unworn.
Problem with this is that I end up filling the void by buying other things that I love but don’t need, so my wardrobe is about 50% long, high waisted skirts.
mika shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 3:34 PMfor basic things, i settle, just because i need them. most of the things i fall in love with are just too expensive so i find alternatives, but i never forget. i wear everything i buy though. i settle but i make full use of my purchase because i find it such a waste otherwise.
hollypop shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 3:41 PMsometimes you need to settle or you don’t have anything to wear *with* the gorgeous stuff you LUFF. for me, that is the only time it is ok to settle. i go into so many shoppes and come out empty handed. sometimes i go entire seasons without new shoes or a swimsuit or something because there’s nothing perfect out there for me(or that fits my crazy feet and my budget).
sometimes i get embarrassed because i wear the same shorts which i love or the same jacket i love..
but sod it. i love it and i feel comfortable in it. it feels like me.i loved my wang bag from the second i saw it too! i just had to get it and i bought it on the same day, if i recall correctly.
i loved the tatty divine dinosaur necklace since 2007 and only just ordered one this month(hope it comes soon!)
Alexia shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 4:14 PMI didn’t get rid of all the things I didn’t want anymore in my wardrobe for this reason. Just so that I don’t have to wash my tee every two days because I would only have 3 of them…
Lana shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 4:27 PMAs a student on a tight budget, I often go months without something until I find the perfect model for as little as I can afford! Often this means waiting until chain webstores like asos, romwe or other Asian wholesalers, or even Australian retail stores like supre come out with their knockoff of the trend. Though, to be honest, I don’t follow many trends. I love your style and attitude towards fashion – if I create an outfit I love, I often wear the same thing for a month. No shame.
I say wait it out – like you said yourself, once you find love you will know it!
Cate shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 10:03 PMI purged most of my wardrobe last year but I still don’t feel satisfied with what I have I own a few really beautiful pieces which I adore but it does seem like lately I’m just filling the gap with things I don’t really care for. I would like to do another purge and then invest in key pieces I can love and adore for a long time whether it be a jacket or a good pair of shoes xoxo
catssaymeow shared this comment on Aug 30 11 at 11:58 PMI’m actually currently in the process purging and replacing. I got to a point where I hated everything I saw when I opened my wardrobe doors… even the stuff I once loved was just lost amongst all the crap. Lots didn’t fit anymore either. Everything just hung there mocking me. Something needed to be done about my wardrobe because it was literally upsetting me on a day to day basis. I’m not even a quarter of the way though yet, but it is such a satisfying, sometimes hard, but thoroughly enjoyable process. I just wish I had more time! (and $$$)
catssaymeow shared this comment on Aug 31 11 at 12:04 AMOh I forgot to answer your question.
I sometimes buy something to tide me over for the time being (if I need the item) with the full intention of upgrading when I find the perfect cut/shape/colour etc.. eg black pants for work.
However I have also made the fatal error of settling for the cheaper “imitation” of something only to buy the thing that inspired me in the first place at a later date because I can’t stop thinking about it. I really need to stop doing this and just buy what I love in the first place.
Smaggle shared this comment on Aug 31 11 at 1:07 AMTell me about it.
I’m in New York and have been shopping for four days and haven’t bought a thing. Sad. I need love though and all I’ve found so far is like.
What diet changes did you make if you don’t mind me asking? I’m always interested in health kicks!
not bloody mary likely shared this comment on Aug 31 11 at 9:41 AMI’m about to go to Bali for a couple of weeks and I really only just realised how much I’ve cultivated my winter wardrobe and my summer wardrobe is completely inadequate. I’ve had to settle and buy a few pieces that I’m still umm’ing and ahh’ing about. It’s horrible. I think I just really hate summer and summer clothes.
koko shared this comment on Sep 01 11 at 4:25 AMFrom my experience, everything comes in spurts. Like if I’m stalking something on eBay, sometimes I won’t find anything for weeks and then all of a sudden everything you’ve ever been looking for shows up in the same week. That’s when I regret “settling,” because I think of the money spent and how it could have gone toward something I love.
It’s so cyclical, if I don’t fall in love with something this month, I’m sure something will come along the next season. So I think it’s better to sit on your money so that you’ll be prepared. Easier said than done, however.
Lisa shared this comment on Sep 01 11 at 10:57 PMI moved from Australia to the U.K. at the beginning of the year, leaving a permanent job and decent salary for adventure, and extreme financial uncertainty. As a result, my approach to purchases changed dramatically. I’d shifted to making quality purchases that I loved and not buying mediocre stuff quite a while back, but without having all of my wardrobe with me, I’ve had moments where I’ve had to settle for non-perfect essential items to fill in the gaps.
For expensive purchases, my new budget means I REALLY have to love it. And even then sometimes I can’t justify the cost. So I don’t own a PS1 (and will never be able to bring myself to spend that much on a bag, no matter how much I love it), and I didn’t buy the Acne Hybria wedges when they were on sale. But I’ve found new season Office Wedges that are good quality, much cheaper, and I love them as much as the Acne ones.
Unless it’s something that is essential and practical, wait it out. You’ll always get more wear out of something you love in the long run.
meg shared this comment on Sep 03 11 at 12:48 AMi’ve been feeling the need to clean out a lot of my closet… just so dissatisfied with so much and it feels like everything is so cluttered, though i’m sure part of that is psychological too. i don’t know.
